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I know you
You were too short
you had bad skin
You
couldnt talk to them very well
words didnt seem to work
they lied when they came out of your mouth
you
tried so hard to understand them
you wanted to be part of what was happening
you saw them having fun
and
it seemed like such a mystery, almost magic
made you think that there was something wrong with you
you
look in the mirror trying to find it
you thought that you were ugly, and that everyone was looking at you
so
you learned to be invisible
to look down
to avoid conversation
the hours, days, weekends
AHH...the
weekend nights alone
where were you?
In the basement?
in the attic?
In your room?
Working
some job, just to have something to do?
Just to have a place to put yourself
just to have a way to get
away from them
a chance to get away from the ones that made you feel so strange and ill at ease inside yourself.
Yeah, I think I know you
Youve spent a lot of time full of hate
a hate that was
pure as sunshine
a hate that saw for miles
a hate that kept you up at night
a hate that filled
your every waking moment
a hate that carried you for a long time
Yes... I think I know you
you couldnt figure out what they saw in the way they lived
home was not home
your room was
home
a corner was home
the place they werent.....that was home
I know you
Youre
sensitive, and you hide it because you fear getting stepped on one more time
it seems that when you show a part
of yourself that is the least bit vulnerable
someone takes advantage of you
one of them, steps on you
they
mistake kindness for weakness
but you know the difference
youve been the brunt of their weakness for
years
and strength is something that you know a bit about
because you had to be strong to keep yourself
alive
you know yourself very well now
and you dont trust people
you know them too well
You
try to find that special person
someone you can be with
someone you can touch
someone you
can talk to
someone you dont feel so strange around
and youve found that they dont really exist
you
feel closer to people on movie screens
Yeah I think I know you
you spend a lot of time daydreaming
and
people have made comment to that effect
telling you that youre
Self involved
and
Self
Centered
but they dont know do they
about the lonely night shifts alone
about the years of
keeping yourself company
all the nights you wrapped your arms around yourself
so that you could imagine
someone holding you
the hours of indecision
self doubt
the intense depression
the
blinding hate
the rage that made you stagger
the devastation of rejection
well,
maybe they do know, ...but if they do
they sure do a good job of hiding it
it astounds you
how they can be so smooth
how they seem to pass through life as if life itself were some Devine gift
and
it infuriates you to watch yourself with your apparent skill in finding every way possible to screw it up
for you,
life is a long trip, terrifying and wonderful
birds sing to you at night
the rain and the sun
and
the changing seasons are true friends
solitude is a hard won ally
faithful and patient
Yeah,
I think I know you
Now Pull Yourself Together!!!
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